Top Ten Reasons Why I May NOT be able to List Your House

1. You think duct tape can be used for weather stripping, window installation, and is a viable replacement for hammer and nails.
2. You think all the liens on your house came from the house settling.
3. You have animal heads on the wall - and one is wearing a mullet wig.
4. You think that blue tarp is a "new roof".
5. You have an above ground pool - and it's filled with Budweiser.
6. You have shag carpet on the walls.
7. Your Easter tradition includes hiding eggs in the cinder blocks holding up the car.
8. Your second bathroom is the yard.
9. When I asked about the termite bond, you replied "I didn't know termite was in Jail."
10. The only grass on your property is illegal.